Breastfeeding my baby has been my number one priority for the past year. Before she was even born, I knew that I would do whatever it took to ensure that she nursed for a year. We had some challenges with latching in the first few days after she was born but we got the hang of it. We figured out the most effective nursing position for us - the football hold. At first, her teeny, tiny head was dwarfed by my huge boob and she almost seemed overwhelmed by it. I started pumping at the hospital to get my milk to come in more quickly - she needed the milk to help flush the bilirubin out of her body. Once my milk came in, I continued to pump after nursing to get my milk supply up, keep it up, and to get a stash of milk in the fridge. We supplemented nursing with finger feeding - using a milk-filled syringe with a thin tube attached to get extra milk into her. Once her jaundice was no longer a concern, we fell into a comfortable pattern of nursing.
Bottle feeding has never gone over too well for Anika. She has always preferred the breast over the bottle. At times it has been frustrating for me, not because of being on "Breast Arrest" but because of the wasted milk! We've tried several bottles on the market but never found one that she liked as much as the boob. At Vicki's, she's been hit or miss with the bottle. At home, she would practically turn up her nose as if to say, "My mommy will be home soon. She'll give me a boob when she does." And I would.
I started getting my body ready for weaning about a month ago. I stopped pumping at work and stopped nursing during the day on the weekends. We were down to morning and bedtime. Bedtime was dropped almost two weeks ago - she seemed to eat more at the morning feeding and the bedtime feeding was more for me to snuggle with her, so I decided that we should keep the more nourishing feeding longer. She actually refused the breast at bedtime because she drank 8 oz (practically unheard of for her!) at dinner - she was too full. It broke my heart - it was supposed to be in my terms, not hers! I've missed my bedtime snuggle time with her so, so, so much - it was always my favorite time of the day.
Breastfeeding has been the most rewarding aspect of motherhood for me. I would continue nursing indefinitely if I had lost all (or even just most) of my pregnancy weight. The only drawback of breastfeeding has been my body's protection of my milk supply. Most women find that they lose their pregnancy weight while nursing - it's said it takes about 500 calories a day to produce milk. I've been the exception to this. Because producing milk has been my priority, I have set aside my weight loss goals to ensure an abundant milk supply for my daughter. I would rather be able to give my girl the best possible food than have a perfect body. (I'm not saying that my body issues haven't been a huge source of sadness, frustration, and self-loathing. It has - but it's a sacrifice that I've been willing to make.)
My goal has to been to breastfeed for a year - according to the research, breastfeeding for a year gives the most benefits for your child. Anika is a year old tomorrow.
We've made it.
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